Why You Should Never, Ever Think About Volunteering at Races!

Who says it’s a good thing to volunteer your time to help stage a race — particularly if that race happens to be a charity event? You have better things to do with your time: chat up friends. Shop. Flirt. Get your hair cut. In our humble opinion, becoming a race volunteer isn’t just a terrible idea, it’s one you’ll soon dismiss after reading the following 20 reasons to take a pass on offering your time and efforts down the road.

Why You Should Not Volunteer at Running Events

1. You’re going to be forced to hang out with some of the most philanthropic, kind, giving people in the world, which is probably the biggest reason that being a race volunteer is a terrible idea.
2. You will have to forego important plans — like getting a pedicure, having a massage and gossiping with the neighbours about everyone else’s business.
3. You’ll set a good example for your kids if you refuse to volunteer at race events. Instead, show them that being selfish and self-involved is what really matters.
4. Volunteer to assist with race arrangements and you’ll be forced to make new friends. You already have a boat load of them, so why bother with more? You could even get a headache learning new names, after all.

5. If you volunteer, you’ll have to pretend to be inspired, motivated and impressed by others when it’s much more important to register your disdain for these posers. You’re going to have to practise looking sincere in front of a mirror if you say yes.
6. If you can’t find a way to avoid volunteering for a race, consequences could befall you: You could fall victim to old fashion trends — like wearing last season’s shoes because you’ve fallen behind on reading recent issues of Vanity Fair.
7. Become a race volunteer and you will be forced to give back to your community, whether you want to or not.
8. Volunteer and be forced to make the biggest sacrifice of all: getting out of bed, thus threatening your beauty sleep! Just say no to volunteering unless race organisers promise to give you start times that require you to show up no earlier than noon.

9. It’s a terrible idea to volunteer if you just got a perm. What if it starts raining? What would happen to your hair? Lie to save face. Say you’ve just had brain surgery rather than a perm.
10. Say yes to volunteering and you’re going to have to reduce the amount of stress you carry around. Since you see stress as an important part of forging your future, refusing to volunteer could help your career!
11. You could risk enhancing your personal growth if you insist on volunteering. All of that giving back, cooperation and philanthropic behaviour could make you grow up, and who wants to do that?
12. Becoming a volunteer has been known to help people overcome depression and other mental health issues, but surely it’s more important to keep your doctor and pharmacist in business rather than finding balance in natural ways.
13. Volunteers are extremely valuable — at the rate of an estimated US$15.39 per hour in USA. If you think you’re worth more, don’t volunteer — especially if that volunteer time comes to represent the equivalent of thousands of dollars of giving!

14. By volunteering, you’ll put people out of work thus serious economic downturns could result if you contribute time to a cause. Raising that money gives organisers plenty of cash to hire workers, and if direct services are impacted by less profit, so be it.
15. You could meet someone special at a volunteer event, but why bother when a bar, cyberspace or getting fixed up can suffice? What’s the benefit of meeting someone who possesses both a good heart and a cute face, anyway?
16. You could be seen by your boss and work colleagues as a big-hearted human being if you insist on volunteering. By showing your philanthropic side, you expose yourself to terrible consequences, like raises, promotions and even awards.
17. If you volunteer, you’ll have to learn to manage your time properly, and that’s something you prefer not to do. You like being the person who shows up late, misses deadlines and meetings. You have a reputation to uphold, after all.

18. Volunteer and there’s a good chance you’ll be forced to work with people of all walks of life. Wouldn’t you prefer to stick with “your own kind”? Diversity leads to learning about and understanding other culture – and what’s the value of that?
19. Charitable runs requiring volunteers aren’t really worthwhile to the community at large, so why bother? Who cares about beautifying neighbourhoods, feeding hungry kids or sheltering pets?
20. It’s incumbent upon you to avoid volunteer work if you have no desire to lead a happy, satisfied and full life. After all, being disconnected, selfish and unhappy has served you well in life thus far. “Happiness comes from within,” you believe, is just a cliché, so why upset the status quo when you could stay miserable on the sidelines?

Become A Race Volunteer?

What motivates you to volunteer? Is it the prestige, camaraderie, social life or just a desire to do good work? We’d like to know if your interest in volunteering came about because you were raised in a home that set a good example or did you come to a place of philanthropic consciousness all by yourself?