What did you think when you read the title of this article? That running is never a dumb idea, so what could possibly be a reason not to run? But think about it: There are plenty of scenarios that present themselves during which time running should be the last thing on your mind.
Check out the following and see if you’ve ever been in one of them. If you have, we promise not to tell a soul, so your secret is safe with us!
When Not to Run?
1. Don’t run during the heat of the day when the humidity is as high as your boss’s expectations!
It’s perfectly acceptable to strive for consistency and perhaps you’re the one in your crowd most likely to brag about having never missed a practice, meet or marathon. But what will you gain, beside a shirt that shows off all of your assets once it’s drenched in sweat and clinging to your body like an overly possessive lover?
Further, sunstroke is no joke, nor is becoming so dehydrated you land in a clinic. May we add a reminder that your boss won’t be terribly impressed by your lack of common sense if he hears about this either?
2. Don’t run if you just got out of a sick bed or had surgery fairly recently.
Everyone understands that you’re eager to get back into your shoes to resume your regular programme, but seriously, do you want to be found by fellow joggers lying on the ground and muttering about feeling like an idiot because you ran too soon?
Of course you don’t — though if you’re a woman, we feel compelled to add this note: romantic relationships have arisen on jogging paths when Romeos come to the aid of helpless Juliets.
3. Don’t run in areas that are popular with dog owners.
Lots of big dogs are securely leashed — but some won’t be, and while we don’t want to insult you, there’s a really good chance most dogs can outrun you, if push comes to shove, no matter how many medals hang on your wall.
Be particularly cautious about little dogs. They look adorable — especially wearing cute little outfits dog owners can’t resist — but even tiny pooches come equipped with fangs capable of making your ankles look like you just swam through a river filled with Piranha. That said, stuffing your short’s pocket with treats has been known to save more than one runner from attack!
4. Don’t run when you’ve just spent a sleepless night and your sense of disorientation has the potential to invite injury.
If you’re so fatigued you find yourself hallucinating about trees turning into monsters, grass attacking your feet or you find yourself running alongside a bunch of naked joggers, you have no business being out in public!
Your intentions are to be commended, but if a late night party, a new baby or work had you up most of the night, please give yourself permission to sleep in on the following day if there’s nothing on your calendar that won’t wait.
5. Don’t run long distances if you’ve yet to break in your new running shoes.
We don’t doubt that you’ve come up with plenty of reasons to wear those new shoes that have to do with everything from your old shoes falling apart to the fact that you look hot wearing your new kicks, but unless you love pain (no judgments here!), your feet will only love you if you start with shorter distances to break those shoes in.
Happy feet, it seems, so adore runners who allow ample break-in time, they would send thank you cards if their toes could properly hold pens or apply stamps to an envelope. On the other hand, we’ve heard unsubstantiated rumors of grateful toes hitting the send button to transmit thank you e-cards.
6. Don’t run until you’ve sorted out gastrointestinal (GI) issues with your doctor or you’re not going to be a very happy (nor a very popular) runner.
While the topic is distasteful, it’s a fact of life that even marathoners with the healthiest bodies may experience distress during arduous and overly-long races, and incidents of stress-related, gastrointestinal problems are more common than you imagine.
Thankfully, medical science has come up with great remedies and drugs to combat such attacks, so don’t be shy about consulting your doctor so you enjoy a future of running with great abandon.
7. Don’t run if your obsession with snapping selfies is out of control.
Broken smartphones, trip and fall accidents and worse are in your future if you insist on snapping away while you train or compete, and you don’t need a fortune cookie to tell you that a trip to the emergency room (ER) could be your destiny if you take the risk.
On the other hand, Selfie addict, this could be your best set of selfies yet, if you’re fully conscious when they put you on the stretcher and slide you into the ambulance, so snap away. Once you’re discharged, you can broadcast photos of yourself with the paramedics, the nurses and even the surgeon if he doesn’t mind posing before your anesthesia kicks in. And after you replace your smashed smartphone. And after you apologize to friends for being dumb!
We bet you know of situations in which someone shouldn’t have run because it was a dumb idea. How about sharing the story with us? No names will be revealed. Promise.
